Grace's Mosaic Moments


Saturday, March 30, 2019

Major Edits


 Those of us who live in Florida know what it is to live with both alligators and bears. (Although those who only visit Disneyworld, Universal, Sea World, etc., probably find that hard to believe.) So below are links to two videos. The first is an Alligator Video from Brownwood, FL, courtesy of ABC News. The Bear Video is homemade - outside my daughter's home here in Longwood, FL.


For the Alligator Video, click here.

For the Bear Video, click here.

Also startling, these Rules for Teachers from 1886 (posted to Facebook):



These helpful Editor definitions were posted to Facebook
by an author friend of mine:




DEALING WITH MAJOR EDITS

Perhaps the many "plotters" among us do not have to deal with this issue; then again, perhaps they do, at least on occasion. Certainly, it's something "out of the mist" authors like me run into from time to time.)

Sometimes we simply miss an important point. Sometimes we miss a VERY important point. I did this recently. I'd like to think it was because I was distracted by our upcoming cruise, but I have to admit I was better at "winging it" without mishap when I was younger. Sigh. Nonetheless, mistakes happen, no matter what age we are or how smart we think we are. The important point is to catch the mistake before you plaster it all over Amazon, Smashwords, Nook, or the sites of other Internet vendors!

I do not own a laptop. I got one of the early models, almost never used it, so have not repeated that mistake. (Laptops or tablets are great for those who use them, but for people like me who have to be holed up in a room all by myself in order to write Word One, what's the point?) Therefore, the only work-related things I took on my cruise were a legal pad and a pen, with which I planned to do that thing unheard of for a "seat of the pants" author—make notes on the remaining major scenes of my book. Wow! Was I in danger of turning into a Plotter?

No way, no how. But I would end up with far more scribbled notes than I usually have at this stage of a book (c. half-way). But the morning of the cruise—we hadn't left Longwood yet—I suddenly realized: Oh, wow, I missed something! I quickly scanned the last pages I had written, went back to check the two scenes before, and groaned. Sure enough, I'd written an action scene (an attack on the heroine), followed by two dialogue scenes with secondary characters, and then, knowing I needed to get back to the hero and heroine together, I'd written a pleasant one-on-one scene that forwarded their relationship . . . but WAIT! I had written it WITHOUT ANY REFERENCE TO THE ATTACK ON THE HEROINE! 

Slap upside the head! So that was my very first note when I sat down to work the first morning of the cruise (with a deluge of rain outside the porthole and me not envying the rest of our party who were ashore in Freeport, Bahamas!) And when I got home, I took that perfectly ordinary interchange, deleted almost all of it, and replaced it with something much more dramatic. 

Does this happen often? No, thank goodness. But I believe I've mention a few of the following in previous posts—but since I have acquired more than a thousand new readers in the last year or so, I will repeat the incidents below:

Many years ago when writing my first Romantic Suspense, Shadowed Paradise, I was about three-quarters of the way through the book when I realized the person I had set up in my mind to be revealed as the villain (and who had anonymous scenes throughout the book) simply wasn't strong enough. Oops. No other solution than to go back and insert a new character. Fortunately, this wasn't as difficult as it sounds as the "anonymous" villain scenes were already written and among the best writing I ever did. (Through all the editing, then, and later for the indie version, I never changed a word of those villain scenes.) 

Years later, there was a maypole I so wanted to include in The Blackthorne Curse, but it simply wouldn't fit. Heave ho, out it went! Yet another example: after a reader complained about the hero's fall from grace in The Sometime Bride, when I did the indie version, I added a Prologue which I hoped would make his unfaithfulness during wartime more understandable. (And which added even more words to a book already 140,000 words long!) Whatever. I liked my original beginning with the heroine at age fourteen, but I think the book is better with the Prologue. That's the great thing about Indie Pub—you're free to make changes!

Extreme Revision
Yes, sometimes complete top to bottom revision is necessary. While editing other people's books, I've had occasion to tell an author that she had to select one primary plot and stick to it. (The story leaped from one plot to the next with no connection whatsoever.) I have also edited a book that the author seemed to want to be a dramatic tale of war, except comedy and mundane family matters kept intruding. Again, the author needed to decide which story he/she was writing and concentrate on that aspect of the tale and not try to write two different genres at once. In a third example, I edited a book where almost every paragraph had too many words, drowning an excellent story in unnecessary convolutions.

All three books mentioned above required major rewrite. It happens—hopefully not to you.If it does, well, please see the Summary below.

Summary.
Often, only the change of a word or two is needed to improve your work. Sometimes, the addition or deletion of several paragraphs. And on occasion, a whole scene may need rewriting. Hopefully, you won't encounter the editorial suggestion that your whole book needs rewriting from the top. But if you do get this advice, don't ignore it! No, it's not necessary to leap into revision without thought. Think about what your editor said. Do not reject the advice and plow ahead, your mistakes still intact. Ask yourself:  Is the editor right? Maybe not about everything, but about most of the criticisms . . .? Then buckle down and get the job done, step by step. One sentence, one paragraph, one chapter at a time. Do what you have to do, because you will learn a lot. It's highly unlikely you'll ever make those same mistakes again.

If you don't have an editor, you have to be particularly sharp. You have to pay attention, learn to be critical. How do I make this sentence better? Have I written enough description to paint a vivid picture? Have I given my characters the correct reactions to scenes that went before? Am I tying all the ends together, or am I skipping from pillar to post, irrevocably confusing my readers? 

Editor or no, you CAN do this. The only fatal error: putting your book out there without any editing at all.

~ * ~

Blog Book Update

Some time ago I mentioned that I was attempting to organize eight years of blog posts on Writing and Editing into a single book. I am happy to report I've finally discovered a method that makes sense and work is under way. Hopefully, sometime before the end of the year, my posts will be available in book form, properly organized by subject, and indexed. Still working on cover, title, and sub-title, but I've begun to see a faint dawn, if not bright light at the end of the tunnel.

~ * ~

For a link to Blair Bancroft's web site, click here.

For Blair's Facebook Author Page, with background info on
the writing of Ghosts, click here. 




For a brochure for Grace's Editing Service, Best Foot Forward,


email: editsbyBFF@aol.com 
 

Thanks for stopping by,
Grace  

 

Saturday, March 23, 2019

Photo Blog

We took a short cruise during Spring Break week, but not many pictures to show for it, as it rained the entire time! We all agreed, however, that after the many cruises we've taken with perfect weather, we were long overdue.  Interestingly, as I looked at the formal group photo, I realized this was the same group of eight that cruised the Med in 2015, previewed by three days in Barcelona and followed by a day in Venice and four days in London. The girls, naturally, are now far more grown up. This is the first cruise they were allowed to wander on their own (each with a companion from school). Our total group, with the girls' friends and parents on Grand Classica was NINETEEN. A really long table at dinner. (That's me hiding between Hailey and Susie on the right.)



Grace, Susie, Mike, Gloria & friend, Clara. Front: Riley, Hailey, Cassidy
 A good story goes with this one. When Susie and I went to order this formal portrait, Susie said something about it being too bad Gloria was wearing her sunglasses. The photographer took a close look at the photo and said, "Wait a minute." He came back with a pair of glasses he had found. Susie checked them and yes, they were prescription. When we took them to dinner that night, sure enough, they were Gloria's. Needless to say, when I picked up the finished photos, I thanked the photographer profusely for having such a discerning eye!
FYI, if there was one thing I didn't need on this trip, it was my sunhat!


Palm Beach Harbor - blowing in the wind - and mist!




Mike counted SEVEN boats on the deck & sides of this private yacht in Palm Beach Harbor. Note the size of the cranes on the forward deck, plus four boats, including the black one peeking out from behind the cabin cruiser (center).  There was also a helipad on the aft deck. Wow! When I took this pic under lowering skies, I figured it would be my best photo of the trip - and it was. FYI, a crewman told my son-in-law that yachts like that cost a million a foot!


Our view for the remainder of the trip

Fortunately, Spring Break was not over when we got home, and Susie took the girls off to our favorite Caspersen Beach in Venice, FL, where we used to live. So finally, some time at the beach. FYI, it was still raining when we returned to West Palm, deluging us for about the first twenty miles of our trip home. After that, nothing but blue skies. Not a bad trip as the boat's amenities, shows, games, and food were great. A good time had by all.






Sharkey flies again! - I used to fly Sharkey #1 at Caspersen's myself.


~ * ~

Next week: More Editing Examples, including Major Revisions

 ~ * ~


For a link to the Contest questions, click here.



For a link to Blair Bancroft's web site, click here.

For Blair's Facebook Author Page, with background info on
the writing of Ghosts, click here. 

 

For a brochure for Grace's Editing Service, Best Foot Forward,




email: editsbyBFF@aol.com 
 

Thanks for stopping by,
Grace  

Saturday, March 16, 2019

Editing Examples 2019

I love this pic from Facebook

Thursday morning's Orlando Sentinel had a photo of the principal and two teachers at Markham Middle School (Seminole County, FL) who had been "pie-ed" on "pi" day. The students who shoved a pie in each face—with the school's entire staff and student body looking on—were those who had memorized and recited the most digits of "pi" (121, 104, 76) Two hours later, I discovered the "76" person was my very own middle grandgirl, Riley! Seen below, just before "pie-ing" the school's principal.


Before . . .


After . . . (from the Sentinel website)




EDITING EXAMPLES - 2019

I've been posting Editing Examples off and on for the past eight years, but since my readership has nearly quadrupled in the past few years, I realized it was time for a few more. There are so many facets to editing your own work that I hope even those who have seen my earlier examples will find something new.

Naturally, my examples have to be taken from my own work. (Can you imagine having the chutzpah to point out the flaws in someone else's work?!) So please bear with these passages from my latest Historical Romance, which I'm tentatively calling, The Defiant Countess. The edits below are "second edits"; i.e., the second time I read through this chapter, looking for ways to make it better.

As noted in the past, some edits can be as small as a single word. Others can be the addition of a whole paragraph or more. (For others, it might be the deletion of a whole sentence or paragraph.)

From The Defiant Countess, Chapter 6:


1.  Original:
   To ride in a sleigh again . . . a sleigh speeding across sparkling snow behind three powerful horses . . . For that she could tolerate the miserable Kostya for an afternoon. For a few wavering moments, she considered forgiving him his many importunities.

Revision:
   To ride in a sleigh again . . . a sleigh speeding across sparkling snow behind three powerful horses . . . For that she could tolerate Kostya the Arrogant for an afternoon. In fact, for a few wavering moments, she considered forgiving him his many importunities.

The Why of It:
An example of minor changes which simply struck me as better.


2.  Original:
   The chatter the countess had heard proved true. Prince Konstantin's crested coach led a veritable parade of curricles, phaetons, and carriages of every description as they drove toward Richmond, fur blankets over their laps, warm bricks at their feet.

Revision:
   The chatter the countess had heard proved true. As they drove toward Richmond, fur blankets over their laps, warm bricks at their feet, Prince Konstantin's crested coach led a veritable parade of curricles, phaetons, and carriages of every description.


The Why of It:
Clarity. When I read it over, it was not clear who had fur blankets and warm bricks on their laps.

3.  Original:
   Hidden inside her fur muff, Dasha's hands squeezed so tightly together her fingers protested the pain. Think sleigh, the beauty of the day. Think of life before Kostya, before Misha. When there was no pain, no fear, no despair . . .
  Prince Konstantin's sleigh was waiting for them just inside the gate. . . .

Revision:
   Hidden inside her fur muff, Dasha's hands squeezed so tightly together her fingers protested the pain. Think sleigh, the beauty of the day. Think of life before Kostya, before Misha. When there was no pain, no fear, no despair . . .
   Once again, Dasha inched away from the prince. This time, instead of following, he thrust an arm around her shoulders and pulled her back.
   Idiot! Idiote! Idiotka!  Dasha maintained her silent chant in three languages through the few remaining miles to Richmond. She had wanted this, agreed to this; she would survive with dignity. But . . .
   Temptation, thy name is troika.
   Prince Konstantin's sleigh was waiting for them just inside the gate. . . .

The Why of It:
Primarily because the Transition from the carriage to Richmond Park was too abrupt. But while writing the transition paragraphs, I took the opportunity to add to the problem Dasha is having with the prince. (An early 19th c. "Me too" moment.)

4.  Original:
   Too late. The three blacks broke through the ice on a pond hidden beneath the snow, but not before their momentum had carried the sleigh and its passengers a good ways from shore. Dasha grabbed for something, anything . . . and found nothing. She plunged into an freezing maelstrom of frantic horses, tangled harness, whipping reins, sleigh-runners that could cut like a knife, and water thick with broken chunks of ice. Enveloped in fur, she couldn't move . . . she was going under . . .

Revision & Why:
  Changed "on" to "of" -  because I liked it better
  Deleted "had" and "and" - Less words in a tight situation = more active, more dramatic
  Corrected "an" to "a" - a typo


Summary.
Whether changing a single word or adding/deleting a whole paragraph, self-editing is essential to creating a polished manuscript. To repeat what I've said before: this is not an admonition solely for indie authors. If you are submitting to an agent or a publisher, you must put your best foot forward. If an editor or agent has two manuscripts of equal quality, and one requires only minimal editing, while the other will take hours of an editor's and copyeditor's time (and the publisher's money), which manuscript will be chosen?

'Nuff said. Edit, edit, edit!
 
~ * ~

ADDITION to CONTEST

 

I have decided to include free books in my Ghosts of Rushton Court Contest, so in addition to the evening purse, the two winners may choose any two of my Amazon Kindle books (from c. 40 - I've lost track.)

For a link to the Contest questions, click here.

~ * ~ 


For a link to Blair Bancroft's web site, click here.

For Blair's Facebook Author Page, with background info on
the writing of Ghosts, click here. 
 
For a brochure for Grace's Editing Service, Best Foot Forward,


email: editsbyBFF@aol.com 
 

Thanks for stopping by,
Grace  
    

 
 

 
  









Saturday, March 2, 2019

Too Many, Too Much


Take a good look at this Downton Abbey pic. There's an anomaly. Can you find it?


I suspect the following indicates we are not doing a good job passing along ancient proverbs.






I've been accumulating these goodies from Facebook all winter - hope you enjoyed them.

~ * ~

"TOO MANY CHARACTERS, TOO MUCH PLOT"

The words above are comments I got from editors during my early years of submitting my work to New York publishers or to agents. (Those were the days when many NY pubs still accepted Direct Submission.) And I suppose the comments were true. I was always fascinated by creating characters, and I could never stick to a simple Romance plot. I had to have suspense, mystery, action—a war, a murder, some dire situation. And yes, those things were more important to me than the hero and heroine getting it on in bed. I tried to conform a time or two, particularly when the editor at Signet said they were looking for Traditional Regencies. Okay, I could do that. I could be shorter, simpler, more amusing. So I sat down and wrote The Courtesan's Letters. And lo and behold, it was accepted. Except not under that title. Marketing said "courtesan" wouldn't play in the heartland. Sigh. As The Indifferent Earl, that book was chosen as Regency of the Year by Romantic Times magazine and was nominated for a RITA by Romance Writers of America. And I was off and running, conforming to the Trad Regency genre, until Signet shut down the line, putting all of its Trad authors out of work.

So what next? After attempting to embrace a number of styles that "conformed" to other sub-genres of Romance, I faced the fact that I was going to have to join the (then) brand new world of indie publishing. But it still took a long time to get back to the quality of my first two books (The Sometime Bride & Tarleton's Wife)—books I wrote before I was besieged by "rules," "requirements," and marketing departments. Although I began indie-pubbing in 2011, I feel I've only begun to get back to more "laissez-faire" writing in the last two or three years. I was, in fact, appalled when editing a book originally written for Ellora Cave's Blush in 2012, to discover just how much I had pandered to what was "expected." Believe me, the revisions for an upcoming indie version were extensive!

So . . . am I advocating "too many characters, too much plot"?  Only with reservations. I ran across a book not long ago that was an incomprehensible jumble because it leapt from one character to the next, from one sub-plot to the next, and jogged off on tangents in between. It did indeed have "too many characters, too much plot." Yet the primary sin was not tying all the "strings" together, not connecting those people and plots into a cohesive whole.

Basically, if you are writing simple "category" Romance for Harlequin/Silhouette, then you have to keep your character list short, your plot to little more than boy meets girl, they fall in love, problems arise, resolving to Happily Ever After. If, however, you are writing what we call Mainstream or some version of Mainstream, you have room to add to your Character List, and clearly, one or more sub-plots is necessary to fill up a longer book. 

My current Work in Progress is an Historical Romance, Book 6 in my Regency Warrior series. That automatically means it's going to be fairly long, have a lot of characters, and a complex plot. BUT . . . I have to admit the book slowed almost to a halt this week as I was forced to ask myself if I'd overdone it. Did I have too many things going on, to the extent of making readers go, "Huh?" Did I really have room to add that secondary character I had planned so carefully. (Yes, the "out of the mist" author actually thought ahead on that one.) 

Last night I sat down, scowled at a yellow pad, and told myself:  "You can only keep all these sub-plots, you can only add this new character, if you can somehow tie the sub-plots together and tie the new character to one or more of plots." I scribbled notes, I struggled . . . and finally a glimmer came to me. I can only hope it works. This morning I pushed one of the sub-plots to the forefront and wrote the new character into it. I have my fingers crossed. I suspect those agents and editors from long ago would definitely repeat: "Too many characters, too much plot." But it was Tarleton's Wife and The Sometime Bride they were talking about, both still selling after twenty years—Tarleton's Wife a Golden Heart winner (RWA) and winner of Best Romance from the Florida Writers Association. 

Grace note:  I suspect George R R Martin heard "too many characters, too much plot" more than a few times when he was beginning his series, A Song of Ice and Fire, now better known as Game of Thrones!

So here's your dilemma:  

1.  Can you handle a whole bunch of characters without letting them detract from the primary purpose of the book?

2.  Can you deal with a bunch of sub-plots without causing so much confusion the reader gives up part-way through?

Summary.

If you write simple boy-meets-girl romance, then beware of "too many characters, too much plot." But if you are writing longer, more complex books, then you will need those extra secondary characters, those multiple sub-plots. Just be careful how you work them into your story. Whether characters or sub-plots, weave them in, make them connect. Don't leap-frog from one character or sub-plot to the next with no rhyme nor reason, leaving readers in total confusion. To put it another way, characters—primary or secondary—have to be handled deftly. They need to become part of a spider web, if you will, each connecting with the other and with the various sub-plots, and not darting off on their own in a straight line to nowhere. 

~ * ~

CONTEST 

Don't forget The Ghosts of Rushton Court Contest . For a link to the Contest questions, click here.


 

~ * ~

Downton Abbey answer - a plastic bottle of water on the right side of the mantel.

~ * ~ 

*  Next blog:  March 16, 2019  *  


For a link to Blair Bancroft's web site, click here.

For Blair's Facebook Author Page, with background info on
the writing of Ghosts, click here. 



For a brochure for Grace's Editing Service, Best Foot Forward,



email: editsbyBFF@aol.com 
 

Thanks for stopping by,
Grace