Grace's Mosaic Moments


Saturday, September 28, 2024

Writing Tip - Dialogue & More

 LAST THREE DAYS OF 99¢ SALE - Amazon & most online vendors

Brides of Falconfell
The Sometime Bride
Matthew Wolfe - The Adventures Begin
Rebel Princess

Entitled "Two for Tuesday" (Susan Coventry)



 

 DIALOGUE & MORE

Every once in a while I post one of the umpteen articles I wrote over the nine years when Grace's Mosaic Moments was primarily devoted to Writing & Editing tips. Today's article is copied verbatim from the version found in Making Magic with Words, a compilation of posts from 2011-2019, organized by topic and indexed to make it easy to find what you want. (Strongly recommended over plowing your way through my Blog Archives.)

I had to laugh as I read over this particular post, as in my current Work in Progress, I frequently revert to old-time Author POV, telling the story instead of showing it. I also offer quick peeks inside the heads of everyone from the butler to the kitchen maid; basically "head-hopping" all over the place. I guess, after fifty-some books, a change of pace is always welcome. (Perhaps this is a case of "Do as I say, not as I do.)

What you see below is, I believe, still the general attitude of editors and so-called experts, so it's probably a good idea to consider the advice carefully before wandering off the expected path.


June 20, 2015

WRITING WORKSHOP 8 - Dialogue & More


Dialogue.  Dialogue has become the cheater's way out. It's easier to write, easier to read than narrative, so why not have lots and lots of it? Yes, clever dialogue has become a “must” in almost all sub-genres of romance (and most other fiction as well), but that doesn't mean you should forget Narrative. When you've finished a scene with lots of dialogue, go back and take a good look. Did you charge through the scene with only short tags* or no tags without inserting any actions or thoughts?

Ask yourself not only:  Is this dialogue good? But does it move the story forward? Reveal personality? Establish conflict? Or is this "chitchat over coffee"—insignificant and going nowhere? Basically, do not write dialogue for nothing more than its face value. Cute or clever is not enough on its own. Dialogue must have a purpose. It must be part of the longer story. And never forget that dialogue must sound natural. The words should be appropriate for the time period and tailored to fit the mouths of each individual character.

*Tags are: he said, she asked, he growled, she whispered, etc.

Pacing.  A lot of things can hurt the pacing of your story. Are you bogging it down with extraneous detail or venturing into side trips that take the story nowhere? (For example, too much on secondary characters, too little on the hero and heroine.)  Are you "telling" instead of "showing"? Put simply, are you looking at your story from the outside, telling your readers what is happening, like a storyteller of old? Or are you getting inside your main characters' heads and letting us see the story through their eyes—see what they see, hear what they hear, feel what they feel? In short, Showing is active, Telling is passive. Showing grabs the readers' attention; Telling usually puts them to sleep.

Are your sentences convoluted? Are you using twenty words when ten would be more clear and move the story along faster? Keep in mind that excellent bit of advice, "Less is more."

Or perhaps your sentences are too bare. You forgot to add color, descriptions, settings, and/or enough background information so readers can understand what's going on. That also slows the pace because readers are skipping back pages, trying to find answers that aren't there. This mistake, of course, can be lethal, resulting in your book ending up, unfinished, in the Goodwill box.

Or perhaps you wrote several pages of background information before you got to the meat of your story? Inevitably, this puts readers to sleep. As most of you know, Backstory needs to be worked in a bit at a time, rather than in a single information dump.

Grace note: However, in a great many contests I've judged, I've found the fault lies in the opposite direction.  So many authors have been warned about "backstory" that they put in none at all, resulting in total confusion. The reader simply has no idea of Who, What, Where, and When. (“Why” can wait; the others can’t.)

Sometimes lack of sufficient information is due to something I call “Synopsitis.”

Synopsitis.  In the 400+ contests I've judged over the last fifteen-plus years, I've encountered one particular mistake so often, I've given it a name:  Synopsitis. That's what happens when you write a concise synopsis, explaining who your characters are, where they are, what the plot is, etc., and then you begin the book as if every reader has read your synopsis. Since only an editor or agent ever sees your synopsis, the reader is left in total confusion, having NO idea what is going on. Burn this into your brain: Everything you want your readers to know must be in the pages of the manuscript. This also applies to books in a series. Each new book must work in character identifications and something about the action in the previous books. Always approach the next book in a series as if your reader has not read any of the earlier books, or if he/she did, memory has failed.

Point of View.
   A controversial and somewhat flexible topic, depending on what genre you're writing, which publishing house you're targeting. General rule:  tell the story through the eyes of the hero, the heroine, and a villain (if applicable). Some publishing houses allow up to five or more POVs, usually for established authors only. No publisher, NY or e, accepts "head hopping" —leaping from one POV to another, sometimes within a paragraph.*

I personally have never gone along with strict POV rules, but if you are a newbie wanting to attract an agent or editor, I strongly recommend you consider following the above advice. It's all too easy to allow secondary POVs to detract from the h/h. [And sticking to the POVs of hero & heroine only is a must if you're writing Category (all those shorter books in series published by Harlequin/Silhouette and some e-publishers).]

Many "experts" also advise you to stay in one POV for an entire scene. If you must switch, try to do it near the middle so the POVs are relatively balanced. Not my personal cup of tea, but it's good advice for a beginner who wants to break into the market.

Whatever you do, do not give readers a whole plethora of POVs, as I recently encountered in a  book I trashed after three chapters. By that time readers had seen inside the heads of the hero, heroine, their friends, and several different villains, revealing every aspect of the plot and leaving nothing to the imagination. No room for speculation. No suspense, no mystery. So, yes, you can play with the so-called rules, but keep in mind there's a reason for a relatively small number of POVs. This is a case where following the "rules" just might help you write a better book.

*Grace note update: 
Publishers have become somewhat more flexible about Point of View since this post was written, but I still recommend that beginners avoid anything even remotely resembling “head hopping.” 

~ * ~

 For a link to Blair's websiteclick here. 

For Blair's Facebook Author Page, click here.*
*with new posts 

For recent blogs, scroll down. For Archives, see the menu on the right.

 

Thanks for stopping by,

Grace (Blair Bancroft)   

 

Saturday, September 14, 2024

Two "Improvised" Salads

  REMINDER

99¢ sale will end September 30 - at Amazon and most other online vendors

The Sometime Bride  (Regency Warrior Series)

Brides of Falconfell  (Regency Gothic Series)

Matthew Wolfe - The Adventures Begin (Matthew Wolfe Series)

Rebel Princess (Blue Moon Rising Series)

 ~ * ~

Words we all need to read—and, yes, it's a poem, but don't panic! Take the time to read it as if it were a book . . .


Taken from an ad on Facebook 



Sent to me by my daughter-in-law
And no, I don't know what city that is.

*****

On Friday, September 13, I posted the following to Facebook. Decided it was worth repeating on my blog:

Dictionary definitions for our time:

LIAR. A person who lies.
CONGENITAL LIAR. One who lies all the time.
MISOGYNIST. Woman-hater
RACIST. One who believes that one's own race is superior.
FASCIST. A person who is dictatorial or has extreme right-wing views.
MEGALOMANIAC. One who has a highly exaggerated or delusional concept of their own importance.

~ * ~

 

TWO "IMPROVISED" SALADS

 Living alone, I rarely have an opportunity to make a big salad, but when that was my contribution to our Labor Day family gathering, I went all out, throwing in everything but the kitchen sink. Here is what I call . . .

Grace's "Everything" Salad

 No amounts are given as it depends entirely on how many you're feeding. I bought two containers of mixed greens (various types of arugula).

Mixed greens
Coarsely chopped pecans
Pine nuts
Dried cranberries (if refrigerated, take out early to warm up)
Diced cucumber (c. ½")
Red onion, sliced thin
Crumbled Feta Cheese w/garlic  & herb
Sliced green olives
Hard-boiled eggs, sliced (save 3 slices for topping)*
Fresh herbs - basil, oregano, thyme, mint**

Serve with a choice of salad dressings, (preferably without chemical preservatives!)

*I used 3 eggs.

**Those were all the herbs the Florida summer left me. Whatever herbs you can scrounge up are fine. Dried herbs only if you absolutely must.

***************

 There's a story behind the next salad. I tried a chicken recipe I saw on Facebook, and was disappointed that the sauce could barely be tasted. This may have been because the three chicken breasts I bought a Publix were ENORMOUS and did not fit the amounts in the original recipe. In any event, I needed to do something to make the two leftover chicken breasts more tasty. So . . . I took a single chicken breast and cubed it - resulting in a startling amount of meat. I had half a bag of frozen corn in the freezer. Nuked that until it was warm; then gently warmed up the leftover chicken. Added a bag of microwave rice I had on hand (ready in 90 seconds), then added a few more normal salad ingredients: fresh herbs, capers, sliced green olives. I then discovered I had enough for 2 or 3 meals for someone with a small appetite. So I loaded a generous helping into a SOUP bowl (as this was full-meal salad) and topped my warm mix with salad dressing. And guess what? It was fabulous! And I had leftovers to warm for the next night.

Come to think of it, this "salad" could also be made, using frozen ready-cooked chicken pieces.


Chicken/Corn/Rice Salad 

1-2 cooked chicken breasts, cubed
Frozen corn, warmed
1 pkg. of microwave rice, cooked (your choice of flavor)
Fresh herbs*
Capers
Sliced olives**

Serve warm with your choice of salad dressing.

*Whatever herbs you have available. Dried, if no other choice
**Green or black, your choice 

*************** 

Don't forget Blair's latest GothicThe Abandoned Daughter 

~ * ~

 For a link to Blair's websiteclick here. 

For Blair's Facebook Author Page, click here.*
*with new posts 

For recent blogs, scroll down. For Archives, see the menu on the right.

 

Thanks for stopping by,

Grace (Blair Bancroft)   

 

Saturday, September 7, 2024

Second Books in all 4 "Sale" series

From Facebook - No Captions Needed:




 

 REMINDER

On 99¢ sale through September 30 - at Amazon and most other online vendors

The Sometime Bride  (Regency Warrior Series)

Brides of Falconfell  (Regency Gothic Series)

Matthew Wolfe - The Adventures Begin (Matthew Wolfe Series)

Rebel Princess (Blue Moon Rising Series)

~ * ~

Though not currently on sale, here's a peek at the second book in each series:

 

Regency Warrior Series - Book 2 of 6


On the night before the final battle in one of the most harrowing retreats in British Army history, a colonel wagers his only child in a game of cards. She is rescued by Major Nicholas Tarleton, who marries Julia Litchfield the next day, but only as he is dying. Julia, a hardy soul who has followed the drum all her life, takes over her husband's estate, becoming a heroine to Nicholas's tenant farmers, and is developing an interest in a new man when totally unexpected events plunge her into a conflict of love and honor that might have challenged Solomon himself.

Reviews Excerpts:

"A real historical novel, TARLETON'S WIFE places the author in the ranks with Victoria Holt and a handful of other writers of romantic fiction that I have read, reread, and loved." Patricia White, Word Museum

"TARLETON'S WIFE . . . is filled with action and emotion, and with well drawn, realistic characters headed by a strong, admirable and totally likable heroine. The author has extraordinary ability to bring her characters to life and to create a real world around them." Lily Martin, Romance Communication

"Ms Bancroft has a clear voice and the potential to be another Mary Jo Putney or Mary Balogh." Kathe Robin, Romantic Times

"This is a very well written piece, painted with rich history and wonderfully drawn characters. We will be seeing much more from this brilliant author." April Redmon, Under the Covers 


Regency Gothic Series - Book 2 of 12


Penelope Ruth Ballantyne has lived at the tail of the army all her life, experiencing the rigors of life in India, followed by five years of war in Portugal and Spain. Not surprisingly, now that she is orphaned, she accepts the most challenging position available, companion to an invalid who lives on the edge of Exmoor in northern Devonshire. After years of constant travel, Penny longs to settle under one roof, find a true home. Instead, she encounters hysteria, mysterious deaths, a nasty rival, and the constant fear of dismissal as she attracts the attention of more than one young gentleman in the household. Though the only one she truly sees is Robert, Lord Exmere, heir to Moorhead Manor. Together, they face a startling dilemma worthy of the judgment of Solomon.

 

The Matthew Wolfe Series - Book 2 of 3


At the risk of being taken up by Bow Street, Matthew Wolfe returns to London, hoping to discover some clue to his heritage, which just might be royal. But, of course, almost nothing goes as he hoped. Not even the role he had eagerly anticipated as one of Harding's Hellions. Yet becoming an adventurer has some unanticipated benefits, such as acquiring an elegant mistress a decade older than he. And discovering his former fishing companion, Jocelyn, has grown into a beauty old enough to make her come-out.

But even as a partner in a newly formed private investigation business, life does not run smoothly for Matthew. Vast sums of gold and gems are being lost to a clever gang of thieves operating on both sides of the Channel, yet Matthew and his partner are unable to capture the villains. A problem that is also keeping Matthew too busy to explore that ever-tantalizing trail that might lead to royal relatives. And then, just as he is on the verge of combining his search for the thieves with the long-postponed search for his heritage, yet another dramatic problem crops up.

Warning: The Matthew Wolfe series is a return to an old tradition - one long story told in installments, each with a cliff-hanger ending. So do not expect Happily Ever After until the final book.

 

The Blue Moon Rising Series - Book 2 of 4*

 

Princess M'lani of the pacifist planet Psyclid, where almost everyone but M'lani is gifted with some kind of psychic ability, has agreed to marry Jagan Mondragon, the Sorcerer Prime. Jagan fled their planet when it was invaded by the Regulon Empire, but has now returned, supposedly to lead his people in rebellion against the Occupation. But he's been dragging his feet about it, and when he finally shows up, he has his mistress with him. If that weren't enough of a problem, M'lani develops a not-so-welcome psychic gift, and then there's that prickly long-time rebel leader, T'kal Killiri, and the antics of M'lani's younger brother, who speaks only through illusions. Freedom for the obscure, peace-loving planet of Psyclid seems a long way away.

* The spin-off, The Crucible Kingdom, makes 5.

~ * ~

Don't forget Blair's latest GothicThe Abandoned Daughter 

~ * ~

 For a link to Blair's websiteclick here. 

For Blair's Facebook Author Page, click here.*
*with new posts 

For recent blogs, scroll down. For Archives, see the menu on the right.

 

Thanks for stopping by,

Grace (Blair Bancroft)    

 

Saturday, August 24, 2024

99¢ Sale on 4 Blair Books

 UPDATE:  Friday, August 30, 2024

I am happy to announce that all vendors serviced by Draft2Digital are now included in the Four-book Sale that has been on Amazon for the past week. Warning: if I read the D2D's message correctly, the price change does not apply to foreign countries. (Hopefully, I can figure that out for the next time around.)

Amusing side note:  I had a TERRIBLE time finding my books on D2D. Their "My Books" list is gorgeously laid out, BUT all books are alphabetized in a system that considers "A" and "The" part of the alphabetization. Really weird. I thought I'd never find Rebel Princess!

Below, my "On Sale" Post from 8/24/24:

I tend to keep my head down and write and write and write. How else would I have produced 50+ books since the mid-90s? Which means I don't remember to do things like put books on sale. So, having just finished The Abandoned Daughter, it  seemed a good time to take a moment to offer some bargains. I've chosen the first books in four different series to offer at 99¢ on Amazon, now through the end of September. I guarantee that the first one, The Sometime Bride, is the best bargain you'll find:  140,000+ words for 99¢!

Regency Warrior Series

The Sometime Bride is the first book in The Regency Warrior series. Except for Jack Harding (introduced in Book 2, Tarleton's Wife), there is minimal character cross-over between books, but all involve very strong heros and heroines, although in the case of The Sometime Bride, it takes our young heroine a while to get there.

 

 A very young bride finds herself married to an enigmatic British spy "for her safety." And is plunged into a seven-year, highly personal view of the Peninsular War—ending, after years of blind devotion, in discovering a betrayal of her trust so immense she can only wonder: Is she the sometime bride of a man who never existed? A discarded mistress? Or a beloved wife whose only rival is her husband's expediency in a time of war?

Author's Note:
In addition to being a saga of young lovers caught up in a war, The Sometime Bride is the history of the Peninsular War, Britain's fight against Napoleon in Portugal and Spain. The story moves from France's invasion of Portugal and British troops being driven into the sea at La Coruña to the return of British troops under General Sir Arthur Wellesley, the fortified lines at Torres Vedras, and the gradual push of French troops across Spain and back to France. Plus the chaotic times in Paris after Napoleon's surrender and the Emperor's triumph as he gathers up his old troops, only to be stopped in one of the most famous and bloody battles in history—Waterloo. 

Regency Gothic Series

Brides of Falconfell was my first venture into writing a Gothic novel set in the Regency period. I discovered I loved this special sub-genre of Romance, and my readers soon made my Gothics my personal most popular genre. Eleven more would follow. (As I checked my Inventory for this blog, I discovered The Abandoned Daughter was Gothic # 12, not 11, as previously stated.) Each of my Gothic novels is a stand-alone book with no cross-over characters from book to book.


Miss Serena Farnsworth, spinster, is a managing female, the crutch for her extended family, for whom she functions as nurse, companion, and household organizer. In short, she lives a life of service, devoid of romance. Until she is invited to attend an invalid at a gloomy Gothic-style estate in Northumberland, where she encounters two suspicious deaths, personal animosity, a needy child, and even needier father. Add witchcraft, shake (sink) holes, Mid-summer Eve revels, and a variety of odd characters, as well as the certainty someone is trying to killer her, and Serena finds herself surrounded by a miasma of evil. The lord of the manor should be of help, but he, alas, is a prime suspect in the murder of the Brides of Falconfell.

Author's Note:
Brides of Falconfell is a tribute to the great era of Gothic novels, written by Victoria Holt, Jane Aiken Hodge, Mary Stewart, Phyllis Whitney, and other talented authors of that time. The books—more "Jane Eyre" and "Rebecca" than "Pride and Prejudice"—have several common elements: they are told in first person, as both heroine and reader must be isolated, unable to know what the other characters are thinking. Frequently, the heroines are married and begin to suspect their husbands of murder. There is often a child, usually the hero's from a previous marriage. A large, gloomy mansion is a must, where murder, madness, and evil abound, with the heroine escaping death by the skin of her teeth. I have put all these conventions in Brides of Falconfell and chosen an isolated location at the very "top" of England as a setting. I hope you will enjoy my personal attempt at "Gothic Revival." Blair Bancroft
 

The Matthew Wolfe Series

The three light-hearted novellas in The Matthew Wolfe Series were written in the dark days of the Covid epidemic in an attempt to provide a small distraction from those dire times. Not only do I love Matthew, who is first introduced in The Regency Warrior series, but these books brought back Jack Harding who has appeared in far more books than any of my other characters. Matthew and Jack—"Birds of a feather," as the saying goes.                

 


Matthew Wolfe, born and raised in the squalor of London's inner city, should be a nobody, forever destined to obscurity, or the hangman. But wait . . . he can read and write, is a whiz at math, can speak like a gentleman, even knows more than a bit of French. And when the boy from London ends up on a hops farm in Kent, surrounded by the remnants of the Royal 10th Hussars and a passel of children, what will this fish out of water do? Retired military and their ladies, children, dogs, a regal cat, neighbors in need, and a determined twelve-year-old—all assist Matthew on his journey toward the person he is meant to be.
 

The Blue Moon Rising Series

Blair's alter ego writes SciFi Fantasy. This was supposed to be a one-off, but it took four long books for our rebels to take back their small portion of the galaxy. There is also a spin-off book, The Crucible Kingdom, about one of the nasty Emperor's starships that managed to escape from the final battle, their captain becoming a warrior in the battle against a Curse that plagues a planet with Nature's most violent phenomena—earthquakes, volancoes, tsunamis, etc. (There are cross-over characters from the earlier books, including the Rebel Princess's decidedly odd younger brother.)


 
The Princess Royal of a pacifist planet, whose people have spent a thousand years developing their powers of the mind, stages a personal rebellion, joining the space academy of a planet that has spent a millennium developing its military might. This odd pairing goes well until her senior year when her new "friends" turn on her. Only the swift action of an honorable huntership captain saves her from rape and possible medical experimentation. As a very special prisoner of war, she spends four years in solitary confinement, where she dreams of her rescuer but has no idea she has inadvertently sparked a rebellion against the military planet's vast Empire.

When the princess-in-disguise is finally freed and tossed into the middle of the Rebellion, she discovers there is a sharp contrast between her fantasy version of the man who rescued her and the flesh and blood starship captain leading the rebellion. She must also cope with his followers who fear her psychic powers, a fey younger brother who speaks only through illusions, royal parents with strict belief in non-violence, and a fiancé who happens to be a sorcerer. It would appear the hope of toppling the Empire is a dim light at the end of a very long tunnel.
 

~ * ~

Please don't forget Blair's latest GothicThe Abandoned Daughter 

~ * ~

 For a link to Blair's websiteclick here. 

Blair's Facebook Author Page, click here.*
*with new posts 

For recent blogs, scroll down. For Archives, see the menu on the right.

 

Thanks for stopping by,

Grace (Blair Bancroft)    

 

Saturday, August 17, 2024

THE ABANDONED DAUGHTER - a Regency Gothic

 

 

  Enlarged . . .

 



I was thrilled when my cover artist found a picture of the River Avon, complete with Pulteney Bridge and the weir. And managed to add a young lady as beautiful as my heroine and a young lord who looks like he is being given the cold shoulder she turns on him throughout most of the book. Few covers are so totally "right" for the content. (Please note the shadowed sky—a vital hint that this is NOT a Regency Romance* but a Gothic novel, with more than a few bodies strewn here and there.)

*You may recall a previous blog in which I talked about breaking a huge number of "Gothic rules" during the creation of The Abandoned Daughter. I might not have mentioned that this also includes opening paragraphs that are far more classic Regency Romance than creepy Gothic. 


Abandoned, targeted for murder. 
What's a poor girl to do?

Isabelle Bainbridge—abandoned by her gamester father, leery of the young lord who claims he is rescuing her—is more than a little surprised to find herself employed as companion to his grandmother in Bath, who treats her more like a ward than an employee. A near idyllic situation, until Isabelle discovers a young woman's body floating in the Kennet & Avon canal—an alleged suicide—soon followed by a series of murders that shake the tranquility of the beautiful city known as a refuge for the elderly and infirm.

Although Isabelle is determined to despise her rescuer—the viscount who won her home in a game of cards—she is forced to rely on him as she is stalked and it becomes apparent she may be next on the killer's list. There are several surprises, as well as moments of terror, before this Gothic adventure finds its happy ending.


The Abandoned Daughter is available on Amazon and through the many vendors presented by Draft2Digital (formerly Smashwords).                 

For a link to The Abandoned Daughter on Amazon, click here.

For a link to The Abandoned Daughter on D2D, click here.

Grace note:  This is my first experience with Draft2Digital. I can only hope the link works for you. 

~ * ~

 For a link to Blair's websiteclick here. 

Blair's Facebook Author Page, click here.*

*with new posts 

For recent blogs, scroll down. For Archives, see the menu on the right.

 

Thanks for stopping by,

Grace (Blair Bancroft)