Grace's Mosaic Moments


Monday, January 28, 2013

FLORIDA REVEALED

With visitors from "up north" in town, we're doing the tourist routes this week, illustrating the truth of the following post, which was found on Facebook & shared by my daughter. Believe me, about the only points I'd quibble with are the rain being over in five minutes and wearing flip-flops to church. 

Referring to the map below:

On a visit to Legoland on Sunday, eight members of our extended family journeyed into the yellow area south of I-4, driving through miles of citrus groves along the way. (Legoland is well out in the boonies on the site of the former Cypress Gardens.) Orlando, naturally, is smack in the middle of the pink zone

About the following - all I can say is, some people are really clever. A big thank-you to whoever created this Florida gem! (You'll find a dictionary for non-Floridians at the end of the post.)

~ * ~

  • You know you're a Floridian if....

    Socks are only for bowling.

    You never use an umbrella because the rain will be over in five minutes.

    A good parking place has nothing to do with distance from the store, but everything to do with shade.

    Your winter coat is made of denim.

    You can tell the difference between fire ant bites and mosquito bites.

    You're younger than thirty but some of your friends are over 65.

    Anything under 70 degrees is chilly.

    You've driven through Yeehaw Junction.

    You know that no other grocery store can compare to Publix.

    You know that anything under a Category 3 just isn't worth waking up for.

    You dread love bug season.

    You are on a first name basis with the hurricane list. They aren't Hurricane Charley or Hurricane Frances. You know them as Andrew, Charley, Frances, Ivan, Jeanne, Wilma, Irene, Cheryl, Rita, Mary, Alison

    You know what a snowbird is and when they'll leave.

    You think a six-foot alligator is actually pretty average.

    'Down South' means Key West.

    Flip-flops are everyday wear. Shoes are for business meetings and church, but you HAVE worn flip flops to church before.

    You have a drawer full of bathing suits, and one sweatshirt.

    You get annoyed at the tourists who feed seagulls.

    A mountain is any hill 100 feet above sea level.

    You know the four seasons really are: hurricane season, love bug season, tourist season and summer.

    You've hosted a hurricane party.

    You can pronounce Okeechobee, Kissimmee , Withlacoochee , Thonotosassa and Micanopy.

    You understand why it's better to have a friend with a boat, than have a boat yourself.

    You were 25 when you first met someone who couldn't swim.

    You've worn shorts and used the A/C on Christmas and New Years.

    You recognize Miami-Dade as 'Northern Cuba.'

    You not only forward this but you understand it.


    ~ * ~

    Translation for non-Floridians:

    Rednecks - native Floridians of the gun-totin', fishin', huntin', tobacco-chewin' workin' class

    Fire ants - nasty, aggressive little red ants whose bites bring up blisters. Enough bites & you're dead.

    Cateogry 3 - refers to hurricane strength

    Love bugs - bugs that swarm Florida in May and September, always in pairs (presumably mating). They cover windshields, corrode car paint, and gum up radiators.

    Snowbirds - Non-Floridians who own a second home (or rent) in Florida. They flock south for one to six months any time from October to April.

    Visiting Miami is the equivalent of visiting a Spanish-speaking foreign country. 

    ~ * ~

    NOTE:  The snake count in the Python Challenge is being updated once or twice a week on "Florida Tidbits." (See Archives.) To read more details on "the challenge":  Python Challenge Website


    NOTE:  Free days for Blair's books will be posted to "Branding - bah, humbug!"


    ADDED Tuesday, Jan. 29 - a bit of Florida Bright:  

    My granddaughter with the 4th & 5th grade chorus, singing the National Anthem at the Amway Arena before a Magic's basketball game

      Coming soon (hopefully):  photos from Legoland & the Brevard Zoo

    Thanks for stopping by.

    Grace



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